Life After High School: 10 Years Later

"Um...I created post-its."
That infamous line from the movie "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion".

Today marks 10 years since I've graduated from Creekside High School. When you attend your class reunion, you'll usually get questions about your accomplishments and what you have been up to all of these years.

My answer? Life.

I remember May 21, 2005 like it was yesterday. I was excited. My parents was proud. It was an end to an awesome high school career for me. I was a honor graduate with a 3.6 G.P.A and in the top 20 percentile of my class. College was definitely an option but I was actually late making that decision which landed me at Atlanta Metropolitan College for a semester. I watched that semester as several of my friends attended 4-year colleges/universities as well as football games, step shows, etc. By the end of fall 2005, I had made the decision to transfer to my now alma mater, Alabama State University in Montgomery, AL, a place I was very familiar with. (I stayed in Montgomery 4 years prior to moving to Atlanta).

College was very different than the life I was used to at home. It was definitely an eye opener. I started to experience LIFE. I experienced drama. I experienced having to cope with people. I experienced living with others besides my family. I experienced dating. I experienced heartbreak. I experienced stress. I experienced loneliness at times and several other things.
I'm like whoa...hold up...wait a minute. Life is knocking me left and right. But would I take it back? Absolutely not. Life has taught me some very valuable lessons.
I would not be the woman I am today, if I didn't have to go through "life".

But I also had a lot of awesome times in college as well. I made the honor roll a few semesters. I was crowned as a dormitory queen and participated in the 2010 Miss ASU coronation. I participated in the Turkey Day Classic parade twice. I marched in a MLK parade. I visited several historical sites. I volunteered a lot and met new friends, who eventually became life long friends. I started my makeup career. I attended several football and basketball games as well as other events. I traveled a lot, and found a second church family.

I graduated from Alabama State University on December 11, 2010 with a bachelor of science degree in Biology.
Since moving back home, I've held a few jobs here and there at restaurants, salons, etc but I've been working as a certified pharmacy technician since January 2012.
I'm not married and I don't have kids yet. However, I do desire it, but in God's timing.

Sometimes, people's biggest fear when attending a class reunion is feeling like they are inadequate or not as successful as some of their other classmates. Some may feel like they have to redeem themselves from the person they were in high school. God has put everyone on different journeys. Never compare your journey to anyone else 's journey.

                                              So how was I in high school?

Me? I was just really quiet. I got along with anyone I talked to. I wasn't well known or one of the popular kids but I had the few friends that I hung out with, which whom I'm still friends with to this day. I was very focused academically wise. I did not take high school for granted though. I was gonna make sure I enjoyed it even though I was the new kid. I joined several clubs and extracurricular activities, including the marching and concert band and I was inducted into the Beta Club. My parents were very involved with the school as well. They were band boosters and my dad worked the concession stand at football games. Honestly, the only thing that has changed about me is that I have a sense of who I am now. I wasn't always comfortable or confident within myself...but hey...I was just a 17 year old girl.

Although these may seem like huge accomplishments, my biggest accomplishment was gaining a closer relationship with God. I made the decision that it was not my will, but His will be done in my life. I got tired of trying to do everything on my own and surrendered my life, my plans, my goals, etc to Him.

Proverbs 19:21 (NLT) says, "You can make plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail."

Now is it easy? Noooooo...not at all. Sometimes I don't even understand God's plans but I have to trust His leading and His timing. But one thing I do know is God will never steer me in the wrong direction.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) says "For I know the plans I have for you" declares The Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

God has a purpose for everything we had to go through in life. What seemed like a setback in life was actually a setup for your comeback. God put me in position to head a teen empowerment ministry called Princesses of Power, where I hold a bi-annual event called "The Princess Tea" in which we issue out purity rings. I also started a Christian-based blog, called "Perfectly Imperfect: Just a Woman Living for God." I get to speak at different events about things I never thought I could give insight on..things I used to struggle with as a teen like confidence, beauty, public speaking, etc. I get to minister to ladies in my makeup chair when they don't feel too confident about themselves. NOBODY and I mean nobody could have told me I would be doing any of this 5-6 or even 10 years ago.

If anyone was to ask me what my biggest accomplishments were since high school, it was receiving salvation through Christ and working in my God-given purpose. It's not about having this awesome career, making this amount of money, having this number of degrees, living in this type of house, driving this type of car, etc. I'm not saying that those are not good things to have but we can sometimes be so focused on placing our identity around those materialistic values and impressing others. I know that my desires and my success is found only in Christ.

Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight thyself in The Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."
Pour into God and He will pour into you. I can do nothing but give God glory for all He has done in my life so far.

To the Creekside Class of 2005: This is a time to celebrate! We made it 10 years! A whole decade...lol. So yeah...we're starting to get old. I wish nothing more than that you keep prospering and succeeding in all areas of life.
However, we know that everyone did not make this journey with us but they are in our hearts daily and in remembrance. R.I.P to our fallen angels

To the class of 2015: Congratulations! You have reached a huge milestone in your life. You have a journey ahead of you but KNOW that God is with you every step of the way. Put Him first in everything that you do. The sky is the limit! No...I take that back. There are no limits with God.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in The Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding (6) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."


Acknowledge. Fix. Keep it moving...

Photo Credit: Cheryl Johnson

Praise the Lord, Hallelujah I'm Free

Brethren, I count not myself apprehended, but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forth unto those things which are before. I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus  - Philippians 3:13-14

It's hard to fully walk into the purpose that God has laid before you when you are still holding on to your past. You keep dwelling on your past mistakes, hurts, habits and then you on top of it you have people throwing your past in your face when you try to move forward. You are broken because of your past and you're entangled in bondage. You feel so guilty that it's impossible for you to move forward. I'm here to tell you that it's time to LET IT GO. I know it sounds easier said than done but it is time to reclaim your freedom. It can be done!

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage - Ephesians 5:1

We need to gain a full understanding of God's love for us. It's hard to get over your past and your hurts when you don't understand God's love and forgiveness towards you. We've painted this picture somehow that because of our past, God doesn't love us or he is disappointed and has turned his face away. I felt like that all through my college years. I felt God was disappointed in me and that he did not like me. I felt separated from him. But what I didn't understand was that my sins were making me feel separated from God. (Let's get that straight). All God want you to do is repent, get up, and keep it moving.  I didn't have the full understanding of God's grace and mercy as well as his love and forgiveness. God woke me up every morning to reach towards the purpose that he has instilled inside of me and although I didn't see it then, He knew exactly what He was doing. God could have cut it off a long time ago but he chose not to. That's love and the following scripture is a definite showing of God's love towards us:

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life" - John 3:16

God loved us that much that He sent his son, Jesus, to die on the cross to conquer sin. He conquered your present, future, as well as your PAST sins. He nailed them to the cross never to be remembered again. So why is it that we are still holding on to past mistakes and going on this guilt trip causing us not to fully walk into our purpose?

Therefore now there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ - Romans 8:1

Stop beating yourself up! Jesus did not die on the cross for us to still be living in bondage. Because you are covered by the blood of Christ, you are not being held guilty. He has already overcome the world for us. You ever heard the Donnie McClurkin song, "We Fall Down"? He also says in the lyrics that we also GET UP. Don't stay down because you have fallen and made a mistake. Repent of your sins and GET UP. God's forgiveness falls on you when you repent. It's easy to feel guilty when it feels like people or even ourselves are keeping a track record of your mess ups. We have to remember that people keep track records, God doesn't. He said he won't remember our sins from the east to the west and that they are cast down in the deepest of the sea. That is why it is important to break the bondage that people hold over us. We're afraid to do what God has called us to do because we fear of being judged by our past.

I started to see a drastic change on my Instagram page. My posts went from entertaining the world to entertaining Christ. I used my page to start spreading the gospel and encouraging those who may be going through. Now you know somebody is sitting back judging and talking about "How she gonna be on here talking about Jesus when I know for a fact that she used to be this way, wear this, or she used to do this, etc.."  I don't care if your past was yesterday or 2 years ago, once God has cleansed and forgiven you, it is over. The bible says those who are in Christ are a new creature. Old things are passed away and behold all things are become new. Don't have people thinking that you can't change or that God can't use you because of your past. God can use ANYBODY and know he will get the glory out of it. There are several examples in the bible where God has used people that may not have had the best past or track record.

1.) Rahab was a prostitute but God still used as simply an "inn keeper"

2.) Moses was a murderer but God used him to lead him people to the promise land

3.) Noah was a drunk but God still used him to build an arc

God used all of these people despite what their past looked like. Get out of what people think or will think about you and do what God has called you to do. You were born with a purpose to make an impact.

For do I persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? For if I yet pleased men, I should not be a servant of Christ. - Galatians 1:10

WAYS TO OVERCOME YOUR PAST

• READ THE WORD: You have to come to the realization of who you are in Christ. Not who you are to other people, or to the world, or to anything else, but to Christ. You have to understand God's love for you. God loves you UNCONDITIONALLY, not matter what you may have done or even what you think about yourself. We are not perfect and yes we are still going to make mistakes but you have to understand that there are no boundaries to God's love. Look for different scriptures that demonstrates God's love and grace and mercy and get them planted deep in your heart.

• CAPTURE THOSE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS: You have to shut those negative, condemning thoughts about your past down before they even seep into the chambers of your heart. 2 Corinthians 1-:5 says, "Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. If you're thinking that you're nothing because of your past, come back with greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world. You have to have a "clap back." The enemy is after your mind. He wants you to feel bad about yourself and think that God will not use you. You have to renew your mind daily with the word of God.

• PRAY: Give all of your thoughts to God. Be honest with Him and express how you are feeling. He will let your know exactly how He feels about you and you'll start to feel His love all over again.

Bro and sis, your past is OVER. Let it go. You have to remember what and why Jesus did what he did on the cross. It was all in God's plan to send His only son to die on the cross for our sins and He did it because HE LOVES YOU. HE SAVED YOU. Nothing you have done or could do can separate you from the love of God. If your past has been holding you back from all you could be in Christ, lay it at his feet and GET UP. You got work to do. God has implanted it in you. Walk boldly and fully into the purpose that God has placed on your life for his kingdom. 









Acknowledge. Fix. Keep it Moving..



I Remember The Days I Prayed For The Things I Have Now

I remember the days I prayed for the things I have now. It was a quote that I ran across on Instagram. This says so much to me. My mind started traveling back in time thinking of the things I've prayed for that has now come to pass. It just makes me think about the power of prayer. But a lot of times, we can become discontent with where we are now in life or start complaining about what we don't have instead of focusing on what we do have.  A lot of the things we have and the places where we are now are because of the prayers that were sent up at one time in your life.



I can go all the way back to my college days. I remember praying "Lord, I really want my degree. Lead me to the path. I really need to pass genetics," I prayed but I worked my tail off and earned it in Dec 2010. I remember praying a few years back to pass my pharmacy technician certification exam (PTCE). While praying, I joined a tutorial class as well as studied on my own. I passed that test with a breeze on Jan 2012. I remember going through a season after I was certified of trying to find a job in a retail pharmacy. I was blessed with opportunity to work at Wal-mart for the past 2 1/2 years becoming a valued employee and establishing my pharmacy experience. I remember praying for at least 5 years for a reliable vehicle. I prayed and saved my money and I was blessed to purchase a new vehicle in May 2014.



Now, everything is not always peachy and it makes it very easy to complain and become discontent. Sometimes, we need to take a look back and remember the times where we didn't have that job, reliable car, diploma, degree, certification, spouse, etc., and we were laying face down praying to God to move in our lives and bless us with the desires of our hearts. This is how you become humble, grateful, and content for where you are. God has a season and a perfect timing for everything. He knows you don't want to stay in the same place forever. God is a god of elevation! He has to mold and prepare you for the next.



Pray for the things that you are desiring for your life. But not only pray, but also move your feet.



James 2:26 says, "For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also."



While you are praying, also work towards what you desire. There is no point in doing it if you don't have faith that the door is going to even open. If you are desiring a new job, you need to fill out applications. If you are unsure where to go in life, you need to seek guidance and direction from The Lord and wait to hear from him. If you are praying for a house or car, you would need to get your finances together. God will open the right door when it is time. Hebrews 11:6 mentions that without faith it is impossible to please God. You know the saying: Until the door opens, praise him in the hallway." You have to praise your way through. Don't walk around in a downing spirit...just sitting and waiting for something to happen. Get up and enjoy each day! You have to learn to be content with where you are for the time being and stop comparing your life to others. This is not a race! Everyone is on a separate journey.


Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known unto God. (7) And the peace of God which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ."


Jesus said he will never leave you or forsake you. So why are we worried about our circumstances or our future? As long as Jesus is by our side, He will not lead us astray. You just have the trust his leading.


Colossians 3:2 says, "Set your affection on the things above, not the things on earth."
Sometimes, I can become so consumed with wanting to be established to a certain point and successful until it clouds my mind. It becomes what I'm chasing after. Understand this, we were not put on this earth to chase after cars, careers, money, fame, success, status, etc. Yes, it is nice to have some of these things but it should not be a priority. Our main focus should be chasing after Christ and seeking him daily. Our sights should be on heaven. We should be more focused with spreading the gospel. All of these temporary things will pass away. I'm not saying that we shouldn't desire some things but don't let it consume you.


Matthew 6:33 says, "But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you."


Just live! Give everything to God. He got you. He knows the plans for your life and means no harm for your future.


Jeremiah 29:11 says. "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not evil, to give you an expected end.


An EXPECTED end. A lot of times we put our expectations in everything and every one else and get disappointed. With God, there are no disappointments. Whatever was meant for your bad, God will turn it around for your good. All things work together for the good of those who love God. (Rom8:28).


Stop focusing on what you don't have and be content with what you do have. What you have now is what you prayed for in previous seasons whether it took a month or a few years to come to pass. Don't ever think that you are stuck in a season.
Galatians 6:9 says, "And let us not be weary in well doing; for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."


Psalm 37:4-5 says, "Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. (5) Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him and he shall bring it to pass."


Just think, you'll be able to look back again and say "I remember the days I prayed for the things I have now."


Acknowledge. Fix. Keep it Moving...

My past? Oh, I Don't Live There Anymore

2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.



      So you have just given your life to Christ. You are excited and you are walking boldly in your new found journey or you have rededicated your life back to Jesus and you made the decision to start wholeheartedly living for him. Then BAM! You run into an old friend or associate. They see the fruit you are producing and start to test your walk. They are trying to see if you want to hang out and partake in some things that you don't do anymore. You simply reply, "No, thank you, I don't do that anymore." Then they hit you with the "Oh, so you think you're better than me or something? Let's not forget, I remember what you used to do."  



1 Peter 4:4 (NLT) says, "Of course, your former friends are surprised when you no longer plunge into the flood of wild and destructive things they do. So they slander you. But remember that they will have to face God, who stands ready to judge everyone, both the living and the dead."                                               


                                                                    PAUSE




Ok, so let's dissect 2 Corinthians 5:17. The first part states "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature. Once you have accepted Jesus into your life as your personal Lord and Savior, your past is forgiven. You are covered under the blood. Your name is written in the lamb's book of life. In fact, your name has been changed. For example, you are no longer known as ________, the thief, the drug dealer, the liar, the whoremonger, the stripper, etc. but __________, the child of God, the son or daughter of the King. You are no longer labeled as a sinner. Sin no longer have dominion over you because you live under grace and not the law. (Now that doesn't mean go and do what you want). You are not sentenced to death because you have the gift of God which is eternal life through Jesus Christ.


The second part of the scripture states "...old things are passed away; behold, all things are new. Your past is old news! You're not that person anymore. Don't let anyone condemn you. Put the past behind you and move forward onto your God given purpose. You don't have time to wallow in the past when you're focused on what God wants you to do. Jesus has washed away your sins with his blood and now it is new. You have a new slate and a new beginning ahead of you. Walk into it!

Galatians 5:1 says, "Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage."

Do you think that the devil is happy that you gave your life to Christ or that you decided to make a change towards the better in your life? Of course not! He is not happy that he lost one of his teammates for #teamJesus. So you know what he is trying to do. He is going to try any and everything possible to try to win you back on his team. Just like God can use us, so can the devil. He's going to use your ex-friends, associates, ex boos and boo-ettes, former boyfriends/girlfriends, and even the current ones to try to throw your past in your face. He want you to feel unworthy of yourself and He wants you to feel undeserving of God's love. Because you were set free, the devil wants to put you back into bondage.

Nobody and I mean NOBODY can dangle your past in your face. We as Christians have to stop caring about what others think. We are not here to please people but to serve God. You can't be a true follower of Christ and be overwhelmingly consumed in people bondage, constantly seeking their approval rather than the approval of God. That's why it is very important to get God's word planted deep into our heart. We need to know and understand what God says about us.

Lamentations 3:22-23 says, "It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. (23) They are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness."

God love never fails. We think that God is mad at us and we separate ourselves from him when He was there the whole time. Because of you feeling condemned, you feel like God can't use you. You start shying away from your purpose. That is the enemy attacking your mind again. You can look all through the bible and see people that did not have the greatest pasts being used by God to do mighty things.

Roman 8:1 says, "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the spirit."
This is the scripture that we should be reminded of daily. People may condemn you but Jesus does not. Isn't that awesome?

The next time someone hits you with the "I know who you USED to be, or what you USED to do, remind them that the word "used" is past tense and "PAST" means gone by in time and no longer existing. So.. my past? Oh, I don't live there anymore.



Remember I John 3:20-21 "For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. (21) Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God."

Acknowledge. Fix. Keep it Moving...
Matthew West- Hello, My Name Is

Dating and Relationships: If You Want God's Best, Stop Settling For Less

"When you're desperate for love and not God, you end up getting into a relationship that stimulates your body and destroys your spirit. When you're desperate for Jesus, you find someone who pushes you to grow spiritually and will let you know they may be nice, but only God can satisfy."

-Tovares Grey @GodlyDating101

We're now living in a generation where being in a relationship is top priority on the list of life goals. We've all seen it. You stroll down your newsfeed and see several statuses about being single and lonely, wishing they were in a relationship or wondering where Mr./Mrs. Right is. You see people idolizing famous couples with the hopes of one day being in a relationship just like theirs. You watch others change their relationship statuses on Facebook every other month. It seems like everything is revolving around relationships these days. We usually define single as not being in a relationship, but we must remember that until you have signed an approved marriage certificate, you are still classified as single, whether you are in a relationship or not.








Now myself, I have not been in a "formal" relationship since I was 19 years old (I know what you're thinking...8 years ago?!) So you know why I kind of scoff when I hear people say they are dying because they've been single for only a year. However, I have dated a few times since then but nothing serious. If there is anything that I did learn while dating was this:


You do not and I repeat DO NOT have to date everyone that shows an interest in you. This is the quickest way to disappointment, heartache, and having your time wasted. After dealing with a few heartbreaks, we're quick to say "well..there aren't any good men or women out there." But who told you that you had to try them all? You knew good and well from the start that this was not the type of person that you were going to one day marry. You're usually just dating them because you're feeling lonely inside. 




See I was that "try out" type of person where I figured everyone deserved a chance because I didn't like rejecting guys or either I was optimistic about their character. Surely I was wrong! I ended up finding out that these guys did not have my best interest at heart and they were a waste of my time. But can I completely blame them? No, because at some point, I knew their true character had been revealed to me but I still chose to stick around because I was feeling the "relationship void" in my heart.








Yes, the "relationship void". That's the emptiness you feel in your heart that has you longing for a relationship more than anything. You feel really lonely. You start complaining about being single and don't feel content about your life if you are not involved with someone. You'll accept anything just to say you have someone. You start compromising your beliefs and standards just so they will stick around or they will notice you. When you have this void in your heart, you start settling for less than what you deserve. You're making the road for the one God has for you to meet even longer because you decided to take some detours that you really didn't need to make along the way.







When Jesus is truly in your heart and the center of your joy, you won't need to fill those voids with anything else. The love that Jesus has for us will fill any void or emptiness you may be feeling in your heart. Each of us were born with a purpose that we are to fulfill. Everyone can't go where you are going and everyone isn't a good fit for your life. It's like trying to force a puzzle piece into a space where it doesn't fit. No matter how hard you try, it will NEVER fit or connect. They will end up becoming an distraction from what God has called you to do. That's why the bible says that we should be equally yoked.







2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV) says, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?"


It is VERY IMPORTANT that you are equally yoked. You have to be on the same page. The person you choose to date needs to be saved and have a TRUE relationship with Jesus. I'm not talking about one of those Christians that claim they go to church but still believe in conforming to the world's standards. I mean someone who is truly walking, talking, and breathing God's word daily. How will you know the difference? By the fruit they produce (Matt 7:18-20).






Galatians 5:22-23 (KJV) says, "But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith (23) Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.




If the person you choose to become involved with is not equally yoked with you, the two of you won't be on the same page. You'll find yourself compromising your standards and values, rather than you influencing them. It is easier for them to pull you off of the chair than you pulling them onto the chair. I'm not saying that it's not possible that your partner can find salvation while you are in a relationship, because I've seen it happen. But it can sometimes be very difficult.





It is also very important that you are equally yoked in the religious sense. It's hard enough dating an unbeliever but what happens when you are dating someone who is of a different religion? Somewhere along the line either someone will have to end up converting or you will both just have separate religions. If there is one day a child involved, they will be split on what to believe. Say if you were planning a wedding, and you want to have it at a church but because of your partner's religion, they don't want to have it there. That cause a rift in your relationship. If that person doesn't respect you or your beliefs, then there will always be disagreements concerning religion. That can be a really sticky situation. So make sure that the person you choose to become involved have the same views you do concerning their faith.






I remember dating a guy that always used to question me about the bible and tell me that it was written wrong according to the history channel. He used to always either add or subtract something from the bible. He used to call my relationship with Christ, "your religion." I knew right then and there that we were unequally yoked and that eventually we would need to go our separate ways. As you all know, I have a ministry that teaches young girls and teens about living pure for God including abstaining from sex until marriage. Being well aware of my ministry, he didn't believe in that or even respected it. This period of dating was starting to become a distraction from what God has called me to do. The person that God has for you will truly love and honor Him, therefore, meaning that they will love and honor. 












As a single person, we have to use that time to truly understand who we are. We need to understand what our purpose is and gain a closer relationship with God. It is very important that your identity and standards are established before you start dating or enter into a relationship. If you don't, that person's standards will choose your identity for you. When you're truly walking in God's word and living your purpose, you just don't accept any and everything that comes your way. You start walking with discernment.

For example, just because I'm walking down the street and a dude yells "Aye shawty or Aye sexy" doesn't mean I'm going to giggle and walk their way. I have discernment that this person is not respectfully talking to me which displays the type of character they possess towards a woman. Now I'm not saying that I don't speak when I walk down the street but you have to understand that you have to come correct. I don't mind a "Hey, how are you today?"


We rush into these relationships, feeding our loneliness and then get upset when things go sour. Stop bending your standards just so you can have someone. Author and Pinky Promise CEO, Heather Lindsey, describes her standards as "deal breakers." These are standards that you will not break NO MATTER WHAT.

My top 5 are:

1.) He has to have a relationship with Jesus. I don't mean just going to church on Sunday, but daily living. (James 1:22-23)

2.) He has to respect my decision to wait until my wedding night until we engage in sex. If they are truly walking in God's word, then they will follow what God has said as well (I Corinth 7:1-2). I don't want the man that respects my decision but still chooses to watch pornography and masturbates. You're still giving into your flesh and we're not connecting on a spiritual or emotional level.  

3.) He has to care about other people. If he has no concern for others, this just shows me that God's love is not inside of him. Jesus says in John 13:34-35 says, "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another, as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. (35) By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples (followers), if ye have love one to another."

4.) I don't want a man that I can run over. Been there, done that when it came to dating. I was always able to get my way and get whatever I wanted out of them. I want my future husband to be a leader. Sometimes, it is ok if they tell you no. As a wife, you are suppose to submit to you husband (Ephesians 5:22-24). I can't submit to someone who is not leading me.

5.) He has to have respect. There is nothing more that I can't stand is a man that has a disrespectful character. I won't even date a guy that has the b-word (female dog) in his vocabulary. I feel as if you can "indirectly" call a woman one, then you will eventually disrespect me by calling me one.

It's time to start dating with purpose and not dating just to date. What we want to strive for is courtship. Courting is defined as two equally yoked people, who have excluded themselves from the secular dating philosophy, who are working towards marriage. When you are courting, you are together for a purpose. There's accountability and standards. You are both walking in the will of God and are on the same page. You bring out the good in each other. They are you help meet.


Gen 2:18 (KJV) says, "And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him."
Gen 2:21-23 (KJV) says, "And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; (22) And the rib, which the Lord God hath taken from man, made he woman, and brought her unto the man. (23) And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.


Dating is more like continuous "try outs" or "auditions" You don't have to try everyone out. Everyone who is interested isn't eligible. You want to court so you can build and develop with that person spiritually, mentally, emotionally. So ask yourself, Am I settling for less than I deserve? Am I just dating this person just to fill my loneliness or to say I have somebody? Do you just want to change your relationship status on Facebook? If the answers to these questions are yes, then you might have some reevaluating to do. When you understand how much you are worth, you stop giving people discounts. You won't keep settling. You are content with life and you trust God's timing for the one He has for you. God can't bring your one day spouse if that seat is always taken. Wait for God's best and stop wasting your time with people who you see no future with.


Acknowledge. Fix. Keep it Moving..

Discontentment: When Jesus Is Not Your Focus

         Lately, I found myself struggling with not being content in some areas in my life. I was becoming discouraged about my current situation and not really trusting God's timing for my future. I found myself on Facebook playing the "comparison game" with my life.  I started going down my newsfeed looking at all of the engagements and wedding announcements, new jobs, graduate and professional school journeys, etc. Now don't get me wrong, I was extremely happy for everyone but I started to feel a little inadequate because I haven't had a major change in my life. I was like well...Lord I've been single for 7 years and I honestly don't see that changing in the next year or so....uh marriage? Lord, people are taunting me about living by myself with 42 cats or living with my parents forever.  I was tired of dealing with my job and feeling like I didn't make enough money. My dream to go to school was deferred. I just really started to get down on myself and become really negative. Then on top of it, I found myself reading various blogs about "Where I Should Be by the Time I'm 30" and "What I Should Have By the Time I'm 30." (Mind you, I'm 27). I quickly started to focus on what I was lacking instead of what God has already blessed me with. I was like well...maybe I need to have it together before 30. I was filling my mind and heart with what OTHER people was saying I should have and what I should be doing by "their timing" instead of what GOD has already laid out in HIS TIMING.

Proverbs 4:23 (KJV) says, "Keep (Guard) your heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."

         You have to be careful what seeds you plant into your heart. If you're constantly on social media watching other people's lives and not trusting what God has for your life or reading blogs and listening to other people's input about your life, then you are planting seeds of discontentment into your heart which will sprout up negativity, sorrow, and jealousy. Your focus should be on Jesus and Jesus alone. I noticed that my focus had shifted to what other people were saying instead of the promises Jesus made to those who love Him and this happens with many of us. But do we really trust Him? Do we really trust when God said in Genesis 2:18 "It is not good that the man should be alone" or in Exodus 14:14, "He shall fight for you and ye shall hold your peace" or in Philippians 4:19 that "He shall supply all your needs according to the riches in glory" or in 2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in weakness?"

We have to lean on these promises and understand that God is in control of everything...EVERYTHING. Not us. We may have plans for our life but God's purpose is what is going to prevail in the end. Nobody and I mean NOBODY can tell you about where and what you need to be doing in your life. He knows exactly what He is doing. The blueprint for your life has already been laid out.

Jeremiah 1:5 (KJV) says, "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee.."

God already knew what purpose and plans He had already laid out for you. He created you! So how dare we listen to someone's input or "list" about our lives? Jesus has to be the center point of our lives. When you put your trust in Him, everything else will fall exactly how it was predestined to fall into place.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (KJV) says, "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."

Our lives are divided into different seasons that we have to go through. Some seasons will be longer than others. Some seasons will be harder than others and some will be better than others. Through each season, we need to trust God and trust the process. We need to understand that everything is working together for our good. (Romans 8:28) God is using these seasons to prepare and condition you for what's next to come. God is not going to send you something or somewhere if He feels like you're ill prepared for. He will never send you something too soon. He will be right on time. That's why God has made everything beautiful in His timing (Eccl 3:11).  

So what do you need to do? Here are 5 Things You Need To Do To Get Your Focus Back on Jesus

(1) Be thankful! Instead of focusing on what everyone else has and what you do not have, focus on what God has already blessed you with. When Jesus is the center point of your life, you won't have time to compare because you are focused on Him and the purpose He has for you. You are exactly where you are suppose to be at this moment. I'm not saying you are going to be here forever but for this season, this is where you are suppose to be. God has you here for a reason. I've had people tell me that I should have it together by now. Wait...what? My life is not together on their standards. Let's see...I have my bachelor's degree, I have job, I have my own car meaning I pay my car note, pay the bills I do have, and file my taxes. I had someone in my past tell me that working at Wal-Mart was

not good enough. I had someone ask me why was I still living with my parents? Did these things stick with me? Yes. But I REFUSED to let them make me become ungrateful for where God has brought me. People say things without knowing your situation. I trust God. I trust that one day He will bless me financially enough to be able to fund me living on my own but until then, I'm content with where I am. I fought and prayed hard for where I am now. I came a loooooooong way and I had to go through a lot! I fought, prayed, and trusted to get my biology degree 4 years ago. I prayed and studied to become a CERTIFIED pharmacy technician. I prayed and searched for a job in a pharmacy until God opened the door. I've been a registered pharmacy technician since 2011 and I've been actively working in the field since 2012. I am aware of 200 different brand and generic medications (I can name at least 50-60 off of the top of my head and indications) and at least 50 over the counter medications. Plus, I created this blog where I'm spreading the gospel as well as encouraging others and a ministry that promotes purity for girls and teens. Shoot....that's good enough for me!

(2) Prayer works! You have to stay in constant prayer. Never stop. If we handled most of our situations with prayer instead of complaining, do you know what change you would start to see? Spend quiet time with the Lord each day and listen to what it is that He wants you to do.

(3) Transform your mind. The devil has a way to get in your head and have a field day. You have to change the way you think. Ask the Lord to remove anything that is not like Him. Remove the traits of discontentment, envy, impatience, sorrow, anger, etc. Ask him to loose patience, joy, contentment, and strengthen your faith. Trust God and acknowledge Him in everything that you do. What God does for one, He will do it for you too. Put your focus back on Jesus.

(4) Guard Your Heart (Prov 4:23) STOP listening to everything and everyone else about your life. Nobody can tell you what to do or where you need to be...not these blogs, not these talk shows, not your family, not your friends, not your co-workers, not your church members...nobody but God. Your life is already laid out. So be very careful what you let enter into your mind and heart because it can consume you in a very negative way. Plant the word in your heart and meditate on that. You will start to see your faith grow stronger.

(5) Trust God. Point. Period. Blank. I know it sounds easier than it is but this is a must. You have to know that God is leading your life and you have to LET HIM LEAD. You can't keep trying to grab the wheel from Him. He doesn't need your help or suggestions. You have to die to yourself everyday and humble yourself. Let God do what it is that He does.

Last night I told Jesus that I didn't care if He gave me a husband or not, or if He wanted me to stay where I was professionally, I told him that I trust Him and I only desired to serve Him. I only wanted to focus on Him. I knew that with Jesus at the center point of my life meant that I wanted whatever purpose He had for me and not what I had in mind. I would rather be characterized for being a servant of Jesus than by who I was married to, where I worked, where I lived, or how much money made. We should all at the end of this life want to hear the words "Well Done." As long as you are striving for that, then your life was together the whole time. So get your mindset back on track. Keep Jesus as the center of your focus and everything will fall into place exactly when it is suppose to. God's timing is beautiful. It's perfect and it's right on time.

(1) top left: high school, college, and pharmacy tech graduations

(2) top right: certified pharmacy technician for 2 1/2 years so far

(3) bottom left: I started a ministry in 2012 called "Princess Tea", a program that promotes purity for girls and teens and living a life holy for God

(4) bottom right: I put a slaying to a face! Freelance makeup artist 

God has graced me in several areas and I have every reason to be content and thankful because I wasn't always HERE. 

Acknowledge. Fix. Keep it Moving...

Reference Scriptures

Proverbs 3:4-5 (He will direct your paths)

I Corinth 2:9 (The things God has prepared for those who love him)

Jeremiah 29:11 (For I know the thought I think towards you)

I Peter 5:6-7 (Humble yourselves)

Habakkuk 3:17-19 (Rejoice

Luke 17:6 (Faith like a mustard seed)

Matthew 6:33-34 (Seek first the Kingdom of God)

Matthew 7:7-8 (Ask and You Shall Receive)

Philippians 4:11-13 (Contentment)



Turn Down for What? Why I Chose Not To Club Anymore

NOW this post is not intended to judge or bash anyone who goes to the club. This is just my personal conviction as a Christian for why I stopped going. Yesterday, I attended the Magic City Classic in Birmingham, AL. (Alabama State alum..whoop whoop!) I mean this is the annual "turn up" weekend and it's a weekend that all students and alumni look forward to every year.

      Now back when I was college student, I looked forward to going to the classic, not for the game, but for the club. I loved a good party. That is one thing I can say I enjoyed doing during college (but I did have my work done). During the week of the classic, we would hit the mall and pick out the perfect dress. Then we would make sure that the hair and nails was done. All to impress other people of course. I would pick out the one party I wanted to attend and make sure the cover charge was cool or that tickets were purchased beforehand. Boom! We were set.

       This year was different for me. I was going to the classic solely for the purpose of tailgating and watching the game. I guess you can say some good ol' family fun. But what was it that got me to this point? Let's rewind to a few months back, around April-May. I was in a club called Harlem Nights celebrating an old friend's birthday. I wore a dress classier than what I usually wear to a club. I wasn't really feeling it that night though. I knew I was growing out of the club scene but it wasn't confirmed until later that night. When I tell you everything that could have went wrong did. First, the person I was with left which meant I had to drive home by myself at 2am. Then, I make it to the parking lot where I find my car with a boot on it. I call the number to the truck and it sends me to voicemail. Feeling abandoned, I start to feel panic in my heart. After 15 minutes, the tow truck is reached and I'm given the amount to pay but where's my debit card? Are you kidding me? It was a blessing to have my other friend there to pay. Thinking that this horrible night has ended, nope, it had just begun. My car starts to overheat and breakdown on the way home. Mind you, it's almost 4am. I stopped my car on the side of the road every 10 seconds to let it rest. The situation was starting to become dangerous because here I am, a female out at 4am by herself in a dress. Anything could have happened. I prayed for God to please let me get to the exit closest to my home and He did. The most difficult thing I had to do was call my parents to pick me up because I knew they would be disappointed in me and indeed I was right.


       The next morning, I did a lot of thinking. I wondered if going out that night was EVEN WORTH IT? Absolutely not! A lot of people were saying, "Girl, you just had a bad night" or "don't think too deep into it". No, that was more than a bad night. That was my conviction. See, God was trying to pull me away from the club scene for the longest but I knew I wasn't ready to do that. I was enjoying myself. So, He had to let me hit rock bottom. God had bigger plans for my life and I had to let some things go in order to fully step into my purpose. When God is ready to take you somewhere, you have to step out of some things. I remember standing in the middle of the dance floor at Harlem Nights and for the first time, just feeling like I didn't belong there. I couldn't for the life of me understand what was the point anymore. What am I really getting out of going to the club besides guys touching on you or trying to get your number for a one-night stand, second hand weed smoke infecting my lungs and becoming the new scent of my hair, loud music that keeps my ears ringing through the night, grinding and dancing promiscuously with different guys, getting so drunk where you can't remember the night, dodging a fight or possibly a bullet, or better yet hearing the DJ ask if your private parts are clean.

        As a Christian, I just feel there are some places where you shouldn't be and a nightclub is definitely one of those places. The club wasn't bringing me closer to God. It was planting seeds in my heart that it was ok to dress promiscuously, have a couple of drinks, grind on different guys, listen to certain types of music with lyrics that wasn't glorifying God, or better yet, conform to the world standards (I was convicted on music back in July).  I got tired off being the "turn up on Saturday, then worship on Sunday" type do girl. It didn't feel right. We are suppose to be ambassadors for Christ. So with that being said, are we representing God by going to these types of places? We as Christians have to be mindful of what we do. People are looking at us ESPECIALLY the unbelievers. The world doesn't need to read the bible when they can read Christians. They are trying to figure out what's so special about this thing called "Christianity." What's the difference? If you're not showing them a difference then you're killing your testimony. They're just going to be like "oh..well...if they do the same things that we do, then what's the point of getting saved or going to church?" We have to be very careful in our walk and lifestyle because someone somewhere is looking at you. We don't want to lose a soul that could have came to Christ but, all of a sudden, decided not to because we are killing our testimony.

I John 1:6 (KJV) says, "If we say that we have fellowship with him (GOD), and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth."

When I read that, it made me understand why I didn't have a desire to go to the club anymore. I didn't want to walk in darkness. God is light and there is no darkness in him. I didn't want to be associated with the sins that go on in the clubs. I knew that going to the club wasn't growing my relationship with Christ. In order for me to gain a closer relationship and step into my purpose, I had to leave it alone.

I John 2:15 (KJV) says, "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

Now this is not saying that we shouldn't love ALL of God's people. We are suppose to love everyone and bring them to Christ. This is simply saying that we should not love the sins that the world has to offer.

So people now wonder, how do I "turn up"? What do Christians do to have fun? Since I've stopped going to the club, I've learned that there are so many more activities that can be done and still I can enjoy myself:
1.) Visit a museum
2.) Go see a play production
3.) Grab a Redbox and have a night in with your friends
4.) Dinner parties
5.) Church events that are usually held on Friday and Saturday nights
6.) Try a Christian club (There's one in Jonesboro, GA called C-Note if you're in the ATL area)
7.) Movies
8.) Bowling
9.) Sporting event 
10.) Poetry Slam

This is my testimony of why I gave up the club. Something I loved doing so much, but found that there's a better way. Am I saying I'm better than anyone else? Absolutely not! I've been there but when you get sick and tired of the same thing and don't see any fruit producing, you start to change your ways. One thing I knew for sure....I was NOT going to find my future husband in the club. I'm praying that my testimony helps someone.

I WON'T GO BACK
2009

2012

Apr 2014

Harlem Nights: THE LAST TIME I STEPPED FOOT INSIDE OF A CLUB #glory 

Acknowledge. Fix. Keep it Moving...