As a child, I never considered myself as a church girl. I didn't grow up in the church. I mean I went to different churches from time to time but it wasn't an every Sunday thing. My family was military so we moved around a lot. It wasn't until July 2004 that we decided to join a church and I received salvation at the age of 17. My family was stationed in Atlanta during the summer of 2002. It seemed like Georgia would be our permanent residence and it has. We have been living here for 12 years, the longest that I've ever lived anywhere.
During high school, I linked up with a friend and she invited us to attend her church one Sunday. I passed the message along to my parents and we were headed to church that following Sunday. That Sunday sparked us to attending more often until we decided to join the church in July of 2004. During the joining, me and my brother also decided to receive salvation. After we went to the altar, 2 of the associate ministers sat us down and talked to us about what is salvation and how to obtain it. The key point question was "Do you believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for your sins and rose in 3 days?" Of course I did! I may not have been raised in the church but I did know that much.
People, if you believe that, you are saved! You don't have to jump through any hoops. You don't have to recite anything, then spin around 3 times, then hop on one foot. The bible says in Romans 10:9 (KJV) "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved."
It's that easy? Yes it's that easy.
So, I'm a new creature in Christ but I didn't feel like it. I knew some type of change had come over me and my family as well. I knew I had everlasting life and I wasn't going to hell when I died. We starting going to church regularly as well as Sunday school and bible study. I joined the choir and started going to choir practice. Child, I was in church practically every day seems like it. Even though I had this new change over my life, I still found myself doing the same things I was doing before. Things got a little worse once I started attending college.
My college years made it really hard for me to feel saved. I was doing everything thing that typical college students were doing. I was going to the club, drinking, dressing promiscuous when I went out, cussing, hanging out with the wrong people, not honoring God in my relationships, etc. I hardly went to church. I mean I really did not feel saved. It was easy for me to feel saved when I went back home because I didn't do that type of stuff when I was there and I attended church as well. But in college, it was different. I felt like God was disappointed in me and didn't really like me very much. So that made me really not like myself very much either.
One thing I didn't do was doubt if I was saved or not. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was saved. But many people, who may not feel like they are saved, will start to doubt their salvation and then it becomes a ball of confusion. They may go back into the world, decide to quit church and start living any kind of way and have to face the consequences. Did you know you can have everlasting life but still have to face the consequences (some permanent) for your sins?
SALVATION IS NOT BASED ON HOW YOU FEEL. IT IS BASED ON YOUR FAITH.
Ephesians 2:8 (KJV) says, "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and not of yourselves; it is the gift of God."
So we can't base our salvation on how we feel. Our salvation is based on our faith. It is based on what we believe. This is why it is so hard for people to come to Christ in the first place because they "feel" like they have to be perfect when they come to Christ. Christ wants you as you are. It doesn't matter who you are or what you have done...JESUS WANTS TO SAVE YOU AND GIVE YOU EVERLASTING LIFE.
God loves people so much that He sent His ONLY,
BEGOTTEN son to die on the cross for OUR SINS (OUR PAST SINS. OUR FUTURE SINS. OUR PRESENT SINS) so that we could have everlasting life. (John 3:16) Sin was conquered through what Jesus did on the cross. See, we were all destined to go to hell but now we have a chance to gain everlasting life by accepting Jesus into our lives and making Him our personal savior.
During a church service while I was in college, I decided to rededicate my life to Christ and get back on the right road. I graduated in the fall of 2010 and moved back home. Once back home, I attended church regularly and became very active. Did I say I was perfect? No? Ok, just making sure because I wasn't. As of this year, I have been saved for 10 years. Looking back from 2004 until now, it has been a roller coaster ride! Ups, downs, life flipped completely upside down but turned back around. If you only knew my story. Through what I've been through, I decide to start the Princess Tea Purity Ring Ceremony at my church. Never did I imagine that God wanted to use someone like me. I'm like "God, me? After all that I've done. You still want to use me?" It doesn't matter what your past looks like. When God has appointed you to a job, He chose the right person. He isn't looking for you to be equipped. He's looking for you to be obedient.
We have to stop getting in our feelings when it comes to salvation because our feelings will sway us in different directions just like the wind. Our foundation is God and the truth. Get into His word. Meditate on scriptures about salvation and forgiveness. Ephesians 4:30 says you are sealed unto the day of redemption. Once you have accepted Jesus Christ, you are covered by His blood and your name is written in the lamb's book of life whether you feel it or not. Don't let anyone tell you different. Once saved. Always saved.
Acknowledge. Fix. Keep It Moving...
Have you found yourself creeping on your ex's social media page from time to time? You find yourself going through their pictures and reading their wall trying to find out what they have been up to lately since the break-up. You snoop trying to find out if he/she is dating someone new and if so, are they happy without you? You try to find out where they are living, what they are doing career-wise, are they miserable without you or better yet, did they get saved yet? You try extra hard not to accidently double tap their picture on Instagram on press the like button on Facebook so that they wouldn't know you were creeping. We've all done it. (I did say WE, right?) I'm here to tell you...STOP CHECKING ON YOUR EX....THEY ARE DOING JUST FINE.
Usually when you are checking on your ex, that means that they are still residing in your head and also in your heart. You are still harboring some type of feelings towards them whether those feelings are good or bad. Sometimes, we can be checking our ex's page wishing bad on them or hoping they are living miserably because you are feeling hurt and bitter from the break up. Maybe you have picked up the phone or sent an inbox message to them just to say hello. Yes, it is an addictive and unhealthy habit that has to be broken in order for you to heal and move forward. But you're asking well, how is this unhealthy? It isn't hurting anybody for me just to look. You're actually hurting yourself. You're letting the highlight realm of their life steal your joy. Your self-esteem is getting lower and lower. You're keep asking yourself, "How is he/she happy without me?" or "What do they see in him/her that they didn't see in me?" "What could I have done better?" You can't dwell on that. There's a reason why you're not in that relationship anymore. God closes doors for a reason.
So what is causing you to want to keep this habit up. What is the root to it all?
It all starts with your heart. What you put in your heart, is what comes out of it.
Proverbs 23:4 (NLT) says "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of life."
By checking your ex's page, you are planting negative seeds in your heart. Because you were hurt by your ex, you are planting seeds of bitterness and unforgiveness. You may see pictures of them with a new significant other and start to plant the seeds of envy and anger in your heart, which causes you to wish evil on their new relationship. See how this works? So it's very important that you be careful of what you allow to enter your heart.
How to get over this habit
1.)Take a moment and reflect why your relationship didn't work. For me, I found that we were just not on the same path. We were unequally yoked. God said that relationship had to end. Our relationship was not glorifying God. I was idolizing that relationship. I put it over all of my priorities including going to church. After analyzing the relationship, I understood why the relationship was not meant to be and that God needed to shut that door.
2.) What's planted in heart is the reason for why you are checking on your ex. YOU NEED TO HEAL. In order to start a new chapter, you must close this chapter. If you are feeling any hurt or bitterness in your heart, you are going to have to forgive your ex . I'm not saying that it is going to be an overnight process because it is not. It took me 7 years to forgive one of my ex boyfriends. Once I did forgive, I felt a freedom that I've never felt before. I finally felt like I had closure and I didn't even need to talk to him. Pray for God to purge your heart of any unforgiveness, hurt, bitterness, or envy. God has the power to break any chain or any soul tie you may have with an ex (A spiritual bond that is formed by pre-marital sex). God has the power to heal any broken heart.
3.) Another way to guard your heart is to do some cleaning on your social media. Start by deleting your ex from your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. If that doesn't work and you still find yourself creeping and lurking, you may need to block their page altogether.
4.) Read scriptures that reminds you to put the past behind you and press towards the future.
Your ex is an ex for a reason. Leave them where they are. There's no need to check on them. They are just doing fine.
Acknowledge. Fix. Keep It Moving...
I've been doing my usual FB and Instagram skim and usually every Wednesday I would see someone post a pic similar to the one above.
For those who aren't hip on this once a week trend glorifying women, WCW stands for Woman Crush Wednesday. It's a really popular trend that started on Instagram rapidly expanded to Facebook and Twitter. Every Wednesday, a guy (or girl) will post a picture of a female, celebrity or not, and usually caption it with a personal message as well as the person's instagram name and hashtag (#wcw). Yes, it seems like a sweet gesture BUT it seems there are some people that become a little down and out that they aren't anyone's so called WCW.
So with that I ask you...who's your value in? What defines you? Better yet, who defines you?
Are you defined by someone recognizing your beauty? Are you defined by being noticed? Are you defined by the number of followers on your page? Are you defined by the number of likes underneath your picture? Because if you are, I definitely see why you're upset. Your value and worth are put in the wrong thing!
Your worth should not be found in material things or better yet man. You've already set yourself up for disappointment.
Psalm 118:8 (KJV) says, "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man."
The foundation of your value and worth is Jesus. If He's not your foundation, then I completely understand why this is breaking your confidence. Do you understand who you were created by? You were "uniquely" created by the most high God. He put so much thought into creating you. There's no other person out there like you. That should be enough to lift your spirits right there.
Psalm 139:14 (KJV) says, " I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."
If we truly understood the love of God, none of these trends would matter. God loves you so much that He sent His son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins so that we would be saved (John 3:16). He grants us grace and mercy when we don't deserve it. We mess up and He still loves us. He provides for us when we are in need. He protects us from danger. He heals us when we are sick. I mean I could go on and on. There is not a time I can recall that God has ever failed me. His track record is on point. God is true to His promises and He will never leave you or forsake you.
We have to switch up our way of thinking. Set your eyes to the heavens.
Colossians 3:2 (KJV) says, "Set your affection on the things above, not on things on earth."
Romans 12:2 (KJV) says, "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
In other words, get out of your feelings! We are not here to be someone's "
WCW"
or even care if we are or not. We are here to be about our father's business and that's spreading the gospel, saving lives, and praising The Lord. When this world is passed away, child there will not be an Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc.
With that being said, we have to understand where our value and worth is anchored in. Your value and worth should be in Jesus Christ. He has made you His WCE "Woman Crush Eternally." He loves you
more than you can ever imagine. So stop walking around with your head hanging down because some guy didn't make you his "Woman Crush Wednesday." You have purpose. Know who you are and whose you are. You are a Princess of a King.
Acknowledge. Fix. Keep it moving...
