Breaking the "I'm Not Good Enough" Syndrome and People Bondage

The Life of a Perfectionist
A life I know too well. For as long as I can remember, I've always tried to do my best in everything I've ever done, whether it was school, friendships, work, competitions, etc. In school. I would make sure that I would get good grades and make the honor roll. At work, I would kill myself trying to do my best to please my boss in hopes that they would see that I was a valuable employee. I thrilled from being competitive whether it was in talent shows or a spelling bee. My expectations were always high. I saw life as a perfect picture and that it was suppose to happen just the way I planned it. But what do you do when life ISN'T that perfect picture or when your plans don't work out?

What happens when you make a C for the first time? What happens when you make a mistake at work? What happens when you can't get your hair just right? What happens when you misspell a word in the spelling bee that you studied so hard for? What happens when you don't get the job? What happens when you burn the bacon by accident? What happens when your friends bail out on your plans? How do you react? Your reaction may have a lot to do in telling if you are a perfectionist or not. I'm here to tell you:



PERFECTION IS IMPOSSIBLE

It is absolutely impossible to reach the state of perfection, no matter how perfect you think you've gotten your hair to be or how perfect your body may seem. We all still have flaws of some type. God created us as imperfect people in whom He loves so much anyway. I like this passage in Psalm 139.

13. You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body

And knit me together in my mother's womb.

14. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! You workmanship 

is marvelous-how well I know it.

15. You watched me as I was woven together in the 

dark of the womb.

16. You saw me before I was born. Every say of my life was recorded in

your book. Every moment was laid out before a single 

day had passed.

17. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be 

numbered! 

18. I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when

I wake up, you are still with me! 

God already knows about your flaws and struggles. He already knew who you were before you were created. You are a masterpiece. So why is it that we beat ourselves up  and become so critical about our flaws and struggles when we fall short of perfection?
The truth? It's because we are entangled into people bondage. We care more about what others think about us and how we are perceived by others. We care more about impressing others to the point where it has an affect on your mindset. When you so focused on being perfect, you always hear this little, negative, critical voice in your ear. For example, "I made a mistake at work, now everyone  is going to think I am stupid" or "I burnt the bacon, now everyone is going to think I'm a lousy cook."

Galatians 1:10 says, "For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ."

Think, what is your motive for trying to reach perfection? What is your motive for making sure that every hair is laid exactly right? What is your motive for killing yourself to be perfect at your job? Your motive is to impress and please others. We are surely not doing these things for ourselves although we may be convincing ourselves that we are. Admit it. WE CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT US because if we didn't we would not stress ourselves out trying to please and impress others.

You cannot fully serve God if you care about pleasing this world more than him.

1. You know the bible says to flee fornication, but because you feel lonely and really like this guy/girl, you go against what God says to please him/her.
2. You know you don't go to the club anymore, but because your friends are going, you go against your conviction and decide one night won't hurt.
3. You know the bible says to love everyone, but you join in the bullying of another classmate at school to look cool in front of your friends.
4. You know you have a lot to do on your off day, but you decide to go into work when someone calls in, to please your boss. So now you have a bunch of work that has to be put off until you next off day, in which you can't enjoy.
5. Everyone in your family wants you to be a lawyer, but you know for sure God has given you other plans in life, but you go to law school anyway to please your family and end up hating what it is that you do and now you have a boat load of student loans that you have to pay back. These are just a few examples of people pleasing. 

Jeremiah 17:5 (NLT), This is what the Lord says, "Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the Lord."

You can feel "cursed" when you are in people bondage. Emotions like anger, bitterness, sadness, fear and anxiety is what comes along with being in people bondage. You literally feel like you are losing your mind. These are also symptoms of the "I'm not good enough" syndrome. **cough,cough**

You have to have a foundation for your thoughts. You have to have something to lean on because if you don't, you will sway just like the wind. Every little thing someone says about you, you will find yourself going along with it and now you are convinced in your mind that is who you are. Even your own opinions and thoughts about yourself can have you convinced that you are not good enough.

2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalteth itself against the KNOWLEDGE OF GOD, and bringing into captivity every thought to the OBEDIENCE OF GOD."

The knowledge of God is in the bible. Satan is so busy trying to plant lies in your heart so that you can go against the knowledge of God. Satan is trying to stop you in every way possible. He wants you to beat yourself  and be over critical. He wants you to feel like you are not good enough and that you are nothing. He wants you to feel like when you mess up, God does not love or care about you.

You have to capture every thought and make it obey the word of God. God has so many good things that He says about us in His word. God knows that we struggle and that we are flawed but that does not mean He doesn't love you. People are not going to grace you when you mess up. In fact, they will keep a track record on you. God is a God of grace and mercy that is new each and every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23)

There was only one person on this earth who was perfect and that was Jesus Christ, who now sits on the right hand of God. Stop stressing yourself out trying to please others and follow God's leading for your life. Commit EVERYTHING YOU DO to God and not to man. We were put on this Earth to serve and please God. Die to those negative thoughts and self-criticism when you mess up or don't reach "your level" of perfectionism. God already knew that you were going to fall short. Your days were already written in His book before any of them had passed. God knew you from the womb. He created you. Think about it, if you were already perfect, Jesus would not have had a reason to die on the cross. Your perfection by "your standards" means nothing to God. You are seen perfect to God through the blood of Jesus.

 Acknowledge. Fix. Keep it Moving.. (No Condemnation)

Helpful Scriptures

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that God, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God - Romans 12:2

Set your affection on the things above, not on things on earth - Colossians 3:2

And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him - Colossians 3:17

Servants, obey in all things your masters (those in authority) according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleaser; but in the singleness of heart, fearing God - Colossians 3:22

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men - Colossians 3:23

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind - 2 Tim 1:7

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit - Romans 8:1

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage - Galatians 5:1

For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God - I John 3:20-21

All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the Lord weigheth the spirits - Proverbs 16:2

It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man - Psalm 118:8